Social Media and Grief: What to Post and What to Hold Back While a Wrongful Death Case Is Pending

Published August 16, 2022 · For Grieving Families

After a sudden death, many families turn to social media. It is where friends learn the news, where the funeral details are shared, and where people leave memories and photos that a family will treasure. For some people, writing about a loved one online is part of how they grieve.

There is nothing wrong with that. But if your family is considering a wrongful death claim, or one has already been filed, it helps to know that what you post can become part of the case. Insurance companies and defense lawyers often look at the social media of the people bringing a claim. This article offers practical guidance so you can keep sharing your love for the person you lost without creating problems you never intended.

Why posts matter in a wrongful death case

A wrongful death claim asks a jury, or the parties in a settlement, to understand what your family lost: the relationship, the companionship, the support, and the grief. Our guide chapter on how cases are resolved explains that during the discovery phase, each side may ask the other for information that bears on the claims. Social media content is often part of those requests.

Defense lawyers may look for posts that seem to contradict a claim. A smiling photo from a cousin's wedding can be presented as a sign that a family is "doing fine." A post about the cause of the crash or the hospital's mistakes can be compared with later testimony. A comment from a well-meaning friend about money can be taken out of context. None of these things is fair, but it is better to understand them before you post than after.

What is usually fine to share

• The death notice and obituary, and the time and place of the funeral or memorial.
• Memories and photos of your loved one from before the death.
• Thanks to friends, first responders, nurses, or anyone who helped.
• Simple statements of grief. "We miss her every day" needs no legal review.

Even here, a good rule is to share only what you would be comfortable having read aloud in a courtroom.

What to hold back

• Details about how the death happened. Leave the description of the crash, the incident, or the medical care to the investigation. Early accounts are often incomplete, and a post written in the first days can be held up against facts learned later.
• Opinions about who was at fault. Even if you are certain, let the evidence speak through your lawyer.
• Photos or video of the scene or of injuries. If you have them, keep them safe and give copies to your lawyer. They may be important evidence.
• Anything about the case itself. Do not post about settlement offers, conversations with insurers, lawyers, or what you hope to recover.
• Comments on news stories. It is natural to want to correct a mistaken news report. Comment sections are public and permanent.
• Messages to witnesses or the other side. Contact with witnesses, the at-fault driver, or a facility's staff should go through your lawyer.

If a criminal case is pending, these cautions matter even more. A family's public statements can be raised by the defense in the criminal case as well as in the civil one. Our chapter on criminal and civil cases explains how the two proceed side by side.

Do not delete what is already there

This is the most important point, and it surprises many families. Once a claim is likely, do not delete posts, photos, accounts, or messages without talking to your lawyer first. Removing content after a case is anticipated can be treated as destroying evidence, and that can harm the case far more than the post itself would have. The better approach is to stop adding new content about the case and let your lawyer review what already exists.

The same is true for texts and phone records about the death. Keep them.

Privacy settings help, but only so much

Setting your accounts to private is a reasonable step. It reduces what strangers can see. But private posts can still be shared by friends, captured in screenshots, or requested in discovery. Treat privacy settings as a curtain, not a lock. It is also wise not to accept friend or follower requests from people you do not know while a case is pending.